Helping Parents Understand Social Media
Have you talked with your kids about social media?
If you’re a parent in America, chances are social media is a huge part of your kid’s life. According to a recent study about teens and the Internet, 95% of teenagers use the Internet, 74% of 12-17-year-olds are “mobile internet users,” and 81% are on social network sites.
If your kids are part of that 81%, don’t panic; just make a plan. Doctor’s orders.
Funny, this isn’t
a report from
Focus on Family
or some ultra
conservative
Christian
group... this is a
bunch of secular
doctors who understand the health of young
people today. And their
recommendation is to get involved in
our kids media lives, dialogue with
them and set some fair guidelines for
entertainment media and technology.
Have you talked with your kids about
social media? Do you know what
social media sites they use regularly?
Are you aware if they are accessing
technology late at night? Do you
know who they are talking with? I don’t ask these unnerving questions
to frighten you, but to honestly nudge
you to consider the ramifications if
you don’t know the answers.
Believe me, I’ve seen the horror stories.
1. Try It Yourself
If your kids want to download an app or a social media site, don’t overreact, just take a peek at the site with them and make an informed decision together.
The doctors in the AAP report mentioned above recommend parents establish “reasonable but firm” rules, a bedtime “curfew” for media devices, and a mealtime where the doors of dialogue are open so kids and parents can talk about real life issues.
Believe me, I’ve seen the horror stories.
So let’s consider our doctor’s advice
and be active parents.
Try these four tips on how you can become aware & involved in your kids social media use.
1. Try It Yourself
If your kid wants an Ask.fm profile, give it a gander for yourself. Ask.fm is a popular social media venue where young people
commonly establish an online profile so anonymous strangers can ask them
anything they want. I typed in a random name and
encountered the profile of a young girl. I started reading the anonymous
questions. And man oh man - they were graphic.
Is this a site you really want your kid on?
Rule of thumb, it’s not good to navigate applications where you talk with
strangers (Ask.fm, Omegle.com, etc.). Sadly, young people are increasingly
seeking apps and social media venues where they can be anonymous. Honestly,
do you find this surprising: teens want a lack of accountability? Shocker!
If your kids want to download an app or a social media site, don’t overreact, just take a peek at the site with them and make an informed decision together.
2. Use privacy settings
Most responsible social media sites offer privacy settings. Take Instagram, for
example, the popular photo-sharing app that was one of the fastest growing
smartphone apps last year. You can easily set up your Instagram account so
that only your followers can view your pictures. This is a nice feature, ensuring
that some creepy guy in his basement isn’t browsing through all
your daughter’s pics she just shot of her friends at their recent swim party. Which by the way.... Should she really taking or sharing these for the internet in the first place? Probably not.
Take advantage of privacy settings. This helps your kids engage with the people
they choose to engage with, not any random creeper.
3. Turn off location services
Most social media platforms offer the opportunity to access the location of your
child’s device whenever they post anything. For example, if your daughter is in a
late night study group with her friends at Starbucks and Tweets, “Studying for
my stupid history test with Ashley and Lindsey!” ...if her location services are
active, then that tweet will show exactly where she posted that message. Do
you think it’s a good idea for your daughter to post where she is about to walk
to her car in a dark parking lot?
The solution is simple.
Go into your phone settings and turn off the location
services for those apps. Be careful; don’t turn off location services for the entire
phone. Location services are handy when you want to use the phone’s “Find my
iPhone” feature to find your child when they are out past curfew.
4. Have the pass-codes
This is an easy rule to enforce when your 12-year-old is begging you for the
newest iPhone and you declare, “Sure, but I’ll always have the pass-codes.”
You still have all the bargaining chips at that point. This will be much harder to
enforce to your 17-year-old five years after she has already had her phone and
she believes you are violating her first amendment rights each time you walk
into her room.
So start young and establish a family media use plan where parents have all
passwords and pass-codes. This isn’t an invasion of their privacy, this is just
good parenting.
The doctors in the AAP report mentioned above recommend parents establish “reasonable but firm” rules, a bedtime “curfew” for media devices, and a mealtime where the doors of dialogue are open so kids and parents can talk about real life issues.
Questions to discuss/ponder:
• Are you creating this kind of caring climate in your home?
• Are you seeking that balance between “reasonable” but “firm”?
• Which side do you err on? How’s that working out?
• Are you creating this kind of caring climate in your home?
• Are you seeking that balance between “reasonable” but “firm”?
• Which side do you err on? How’s that working out?
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